From an early age, he knew he was not a real man. Weakling, wimp, milksop – all those words applied to him.
Women ignored him. Until the stunningly voluptuous woman who would become his wife invited him – commanded – him to dinner. Even if he had wanted to refuse, he could not conceive of resisting her natural authority.
She asked him questions. These were a relief. Shyness otherwise would have kept him silent. Even a pretty girl asking directions, tied his tongue into inarticulate knots.
She continued to command his presence. She did not seem to object to his silence when her curiosity had been sated.
She even smiled at him. He could tell it was not a friendly smile. Everything about her was indecipherable.
One day she told him that he would become her husband. He should have been shocked. By now he had come to understand that for her norms and rules did not exist.
The next day they were wed by a woman priest.
She was rich and told him to resign from his job. Work had been his only contact with the outside world. His family was long in the grave.
There was no conventional wedding night. He slept on a cot in a small room next to her bedroom.
The next morning, he awoke a confused husband.
Leaving his room, he realized how little he had ever seen of his wife’s home.
She was in the living room. She wore a corset, boots and opera gloves. Even more confused; he was speechless.
Grabbing him by the arm she took him to a closet. She ordered him to strip. He blushed, hesitated, she slapped him.
He stood afraid, naked and ashamed. She laughed. In her eyes he saw only contempt.
Under her directions he put on stockings, an apron and slippers.
Unable to resist, he only trembled when she locked a collar around his neck.
She dragged him to the basement. It looked like a torture chamber. Looks were not deceiving. He tried to pull away. She kicked him feet and made him fall.
Yanking his leash, she chained him to bench.
She grabbed a rattan cane from the wall, there was a whoosh followed by a sharp sting.
She alternated lashes of the cane with instruction.
He was her slave now. He would serve her. She did not only marry him. She bought him.
No longer would he be allowed to pretend he was a man. He would dress as a sissy maidservant.
He would spend every day cooking, cleaning, serving.
Some evenings, he would spend in the basement. Here he would learn about pain. There were so many ways she would make him hurt.
If he disobeyed, hesitated, spoke back, she would hurt him all the more.
She was not worried. She had carefully selected him. He would find that slavery came naturally to him.
Without the burden of making decisions, he would find a new kind of peace, even with the new kinds of pain.